So that was 2017 and something new for 2018

That year went quick, didn’t it? I started the blog 2 years ago and I’m glad I did. It’s been fun.

There have only really been a couple of things to talk about since my last post. Well, I’ll call them people, rather than things.

Went out on 3 dates with a girl, the first 2 were good but the third one (that’s always the decisive one, isn’t it?) was not particularly fun and confirmed to me that she was not my type. I was attracted to her but she was a bit too brash and moany and opinionated for my liking. And she voted for Britain to leave the EU, which was the final nail in the coffin. I think she’s the first person I’ve met of a similar age to me that voted leave and, rightly or wrongly, I just can’t get on board with that shit.

Then there was this other girl. She’s Italian. Very Italian. And, let’s say ‘passionate’. An ‘all or nothing’ kind of a girl. I found myself meeting up with her within hours of our first message exchange from the online dating site. Which I’ve never done before. I was cautious but it was a Friday night, we agreed to meet at a bar so I thought, fuck it. Even if I’m being catfished, it’s just a 20 minute journey back home.

So I got there and there she was. Even better looking than her photos and very easy to talk to. We didn’t even bother with small talk and we were laughing away quite quickly.

We went on to a nice, chic, darkly lit cocktail lounge, had a few drinks and things escalated quite quickly after that ( a gentleman doesn’t go into detail) and this signalled to me that this would not be a serious thing.

I saw her again during the following week. We went for food after work and man, I’ve never been out with someone quite as intense and passionate as her. I’m a very laid back kind of a person. If I was excited about something, you’d probably not even know it and people often mistake this for a lack of enthusiasm. She was very much on the other end of the scale and not ever someone I could be with long term.

And yet, I did see her a few more times. Because I can’t deny she was fun to be with. She laughs a lot, she’s very random and, she kept me on my toes and, I don’t know, was sort of intoxicating. Yes, there was a lot of physical chemistry and if I’m honest that probably played a large part in why I continued to see her.

I’ve not had any contact with her for a couple of now and may not do so again. She might be onto the next one, which is alright. It would also not surprise me to hear from her again out of the blue. Which is fine too.

Talking of out of the blue, last night I received a happy Christmas/new year text from a girl I went on a few dates with much much earlier in the year. Totally unexpected but also quite welcome. She was a nice girl and we’ve talked about catching up in the new year.

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I do have a new strategy for 2018 though, the focus of which is not going on dates and using online dating. No, the focus is on expanding my social circle, de-digitalising, and getting offline. Less clicking,  swiping and browsing. More attending, chatting and drinking. When I put it like that, which sounds more appealing?

I’ve joined a socialising group thing that hosts events and it’s specifically for people who want to expand their social circle and make friends organically in a city where that can be quite hard to do.

So, every and all apps and dating accounts have been deleted and disabled. No more being a nameless face in an enormous catalogue of people where someone better is a click away and you’re judged on your looks and ability to write a witty biography.

I’m going back to basics, talking to people in person and making connections face to face. Not everyone will like me, and I won’t like everyone, which is normal but I’m tired of 2 things:

• Being behind a laptop or mobile phone screen
• Using a platform where the specific aim is to find romance

If I look back at my earliest posts, I’ve always had a bit of an issue with the digital method of trying to find a partner and I don’t think that’s ever really gone away, I’ve just learned to tolerate it.

Virtually all my friends are married with children and I miss going out with them. There must be loads of people who are in this boat so it makes sense to connect with some of them and go from there without any of the pressures, disappointments and expectations that are intrinsically linked with online dating.

In hindsight, maybe I should have done this a long time ago. I can still blog about how this all goes of course, so keep an eye out. I’m really looking forward to going to my first event next week.

I hope everyone has a peaceful and happy 2018.